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These days, social media and texting are the norm for staying connected. Everyone sends and receives updates instantly. Everyone in your network communicates through texting, posting, and responding to online messages. So it's understandable why you might be wondering how you can comfort someone who's grieving through text.
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Jump ahead to these sections:
- How to Comfort Someone Who is Grieving Through Text
- Other Ways to Share a Comforting Message
- Comforting Texts to Send to a Family Member
- Comforting Texts to Send to a Close Friend
- Comforting Texts to Send to Someone Who Lost a Partner or Spouse
- Comforting Texts to Send to an Acquaintance or Colleague
Should you pick up the phone and call? Should you send fresh flowers or a sympathy plant? Is it OK to send a text offering condolences? How do you comfort someone who is grieving through text? And how do you console someone whom you only talk to online?
How to Comfort Someone Who is Grieving Through Text
Before we provide some specific examples of comforting texts that you can send, here are a few tips to keep in mind.
Let them know it's OK not to respond
Someone who's grieving may be overwhelmed with sympathy messages and communication from friends and loved ones. You can help take the pressure off by letting them know they don't have to respond to your text, and that you just wanted to let them know you're there for them.
Express your condolences sincerely
When reaching out to someone who's grieving, it's important to begin your text message by expressing your condolences sincerely. Start with a heartfelt message such as, "I'm deeply sorry for your loss," or "My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time." This empathetic gesture shows your genuine concern and sets the tone for a compassionate conversation.
Don't just talk, listen
One of the most valuable things you can do for someone who is grieving is to provide them with a safe space to express their feelings. In your text message, let them know that you're available to listen whenever they need to talk. Encourage them to share their emotions, memories, or stories about the person they've lost.
Use comforting words
In times of grief, kind and comforting words can offer solace and reassurance. Reassure them that their feelings are valid and that it's normal to experience a range of emotions during the grieving process. A simple, "I'm sending you a warm hug" or "I'm thinking of you and sending love your way" can go a long way in offering comfort.
Share memories and anecdotes
Sharing memories and anecdotes about the person who passed away can be a beautiful way to honor their memory and bring some solace to the grieving individual. Text messages are an excellent way to share stories, photos, or even funny moments that you experienced with their loved one. By doing so, you demonstrate that their loved one's memory is cherished and will live on.
Provide practical support
During times of grief, practical support can often be overlooked, but it's also immensely valuable. Consider offering your assistance through text by suggesting specific tasks you can help with, such as grocery shopping, preparing meals, or running errands.
Other Ways to Share a Comforting Message
Sending a comforting text or direct message can be a simple and meaningful way to connect with someone who needs support. But you can also use the messages suggested in this article to share a message of comfort in other ways. Here are some ideas for ways to support a loved one with a short message.
Write an online memorial tribute
If someone has passed away, check to see if the family has set up an online memorial and possibly a memorial fundraiser. If they have, you can write one of these comforting messages in a tribute message to the departed person. If the family hasn't yet set up a memorial page, you might be able to help them do so using Cake's online memorial tool. Helping with this process can be a meaningful way to lend support and comfort during a difficult time.
Give a card
Sometimes, sending a physical card or letter can offer more support to someone who's grieving or in need of comfort. You can hand-write one of the messages below in a beautiful sympathy card like this one.
Give a gift
A sympathy card or simple note can also be paired with a thoughtful gift to offer comfort to your loved one. Consider attaching your comforting message to a bouquet of fresh flowers or a sympathy gift basket.
Comforting Texts to Send to a Family Member
When one of your family members suffers death in their immediate family, it’s a loss that hits close to home. You might not know what to say to express the sorrow that you're feeling. You might think that giving them space during this time is the best thing to do. It's not uncommon to pull away from your loved one.
You might not know how to process death and think that nothing you can say will make them feel better. Yet, the opposite is true. When everyone else has moved on, your words of condolences can have a real impact. A shoulder to lean on during this time goes a long way in helping your family member process their grief. There are several things you can say that will leave a lasting impression.
Here are words to comfort someone who lost a loved one over text:
- "I'm sorry to hear the news of your brother's passing. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss."
- "I was deeply saddened to hear of your mom's passing. She was such a great inspiration to me. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time."
- "Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and your family on your uncle's death. I’m sure that his memory will forever live on in your hearts."
- "I’m sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family."
- "I am sorry for the loss of your dear Fluffy, Aunt Mary. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time."
1. “I'm sorry to hear the news of your brother's passing. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss.”
When expressing your condolences by text, consider the type of relationship you have with your family members.
Decide whether it's appropriate to follow up with an in-person visit, or if texting is enough. Depending on your relationship, it may be better to offer support in person.
2. “I was deeply saddened to hear of your mom’s passing. She was such a great inspiration to me. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time.”
This type of text acknowledges news of death and has a call to action. When a death occurs, there are many end-of-life matters to attend to.
With this message, you are letting your family members know that you have heard the news, how their loved one has impacted your life, and what she meant to you. You're also offering your support when needed.
3. “Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and your family on your uncle's death. I’m sure that his memory will forever live on in your hearts."
This condolence message doesn't need to offer any further call to action. Unless you were close to the uncle, a text message is enough.
4. “I’m sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.”
When a family member has suffered a loss of a person whom you didn’t know or didn’t know well, a simple message expressing your sympathy, like "sorry for your loss," is both sufficient and respectful in honoring the death of their loved one.
5. “I am sorry for the loss of your dear Fluffy, Aunt Mary. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Please let me know how I can help you during this difficult time.”
Acknowledging the impact of the death of a beloved pet on Aunt Mary may be able to help during this time. It honors the bond between a pet and its owner while also offering support as you would with the loss of human life. You can even give a pet sympathy gift to provide some comfort as that person grieves.
Comforting Texts to Send to a Close Friend
When a close friend has a death in the family, it's sometimes difficult to approach him with the right words. Dealing with death takes the fun out of friendship, and your response to the news will depend on your communication style. A text message is generally appropriate while avoiding the use of emojis.
A simple “sorry for your loss” text gets the conversation started. It expresses regret and tells him that you're thinking of him. Consider following up your text with a phone call or visiting with a sympathy gift basketor care package.
Here are words to comfort a closed friend who lost a loved one over text:
- "My deepest sympathies go out to you, my friend. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Know that I’m here for you."
- "I heard the news, my friend. I can’t even begin to understand what you are feeling, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m sending you my prayers and condolences. I’ll be checking in on you to see how you are doing."
- "I was deeply saddened to hear about your brother’s passing. He was like a brother to me. Please offer my sincerest condolences to your family. You have my deepest sympathy."
- "I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest sympathy."
- "I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. I’m thinking of you and your family at this time. Please let me know how I can help."
6. “My deepest sympathies go out to you, my friend. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Know that I’m here for you.”
These words let your friend know that you are suffering along with him. Offering your support lets him know that you are reliable in his time of need.
Words of support and encouragement offer some of the greatest comforts to someone who is grieving.
7. “I heard the news, my friend. I can’t even begin to understand what you are feeling, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m sending you my prayers and condolences. I’ll be checking in on you to see how you are doing.”
Your friend might not be ready to talk to you when the news first hits, but they need to know that you are available whenever they are ready.
Do what you say you will, by following up at appropriate intervals to check up on your friend.
8. “I was deeply saddened to hear about your brother’s passing. He was like a brother to me. Please offer my sincerest condolences to your family. You have my deepest sympathy.”
This type of text message honors the death of their loved one, offers condolences to the family as a whole, and also adds a personal touch about what the person who died meant to you.
It’s important not to make this about you, so carefully consider the length of your message and words you choose.
9. “I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest sympathy.”
Sometimes less is more. When you don’t know what to say to your friend, a text acknowledging what they’re going through is enough when the message is sincere and heartfelt.
10. “I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. I’m thinking of you and your family at this time. Please let me know how I can help.”
When you offer condolences to someone you know and love, it’s always more meaningful when you attach the offer to help in some way.
Their immediate needs may not be clear to them just yet, but knowing that you have offered to help, and following up with that offer, can lessen their burden during this time.
Comforting Texts to Send to Someone Who Lost a Partner or Spouse
When deciding what message to text to a person who has lost their partner or spouse, keep in mind that they've just lost a big part of their support system. They've yet to realize the impact of the loss on their everyday lives, or how their future lives have changed. Be especially mindful of the grief they'll experience in the coming days, weeks, and months.
If it's your partner or spouse who lost a loved one, it's also appropriate to send text messages throughout the day to let them know that you're there for them. A text message offering love and support may come through when a pick me up is needed. You may also want to send a text message to celebrate the life of their loved one on their death anniversary.
Here are words to comfort a partner or spouse who lost a loved one over text:
- "I heard the news about your husband’s passing. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. He was a great friend to me, and I will forever hold him in my heart."
- "I am deeply saddened by the loss of your wife. She was a wonderful woman. I will check in on you later to see what you may need."
- "Please accept my condolences on the passing of your partner. It is an honor to have known such a great person, and I will truly miss them."
- "I was thinking about your husband on this day of his death anniversary. He has certainly made a positive impact on my life. I hope you are doing well."
- "Sending you thoughts of love and prayer to let you know that I am here for you.”
11. “I heard the news about your husband’s passing. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. He was a great friend to me, and I will forever hold him in my heart.”
Social media spreads news fast to everyone connected. If you've heard about a death through social media, let the person grieving know how you heard the news.
Assure them that you’re responding privately, and offer your support. If a condolence board has been set up, it’s okay to post a less personal message. Consider posting only after you've sent a private message.
12. “I am deeply saddened by the loss of your wife. She was a wonderful woman. I will check in on you later to see what you may need.”
This type of message not only comforts the bereaved but reassures them that you may be stopping by later to help with whatever is needed.
Consider bringing a hot meal and extra home-cooked meals, and maybe even some good coffee or teato sustain them over the next few days.
13. "Please accept my condolences on the passing of your partner. It is an honor to have known such a great person, and I will truly miss them.”
Condolence messages that are gender-neutral respect the intimacy of the relationship without being too forward in assumptions or leaving a huge question needing to be answered.
14. “I was thinking about your husband on this day of his death anniversary. He has certainly made a positive impact on my life. I hope you are doing well.”
Reminding the person who has lost a loved one that you still hold them in your thoughts and prayers may be one of the most supportive gestures you can make.
While most people have moved on with their lives, you are letting them know that you still remember and honor their loved one who has died.
15. “Sending you thoughts of love and prayer to let you know that I am here for you.”
This simple message can be very impactful when sent at the appropriate time in the grieving process.
It’s not only acceptable but encouraged to send these types of messages to your partner or spouse to let them know that you love and support them.
Comforting Texts to Send to an Acquaintance or Colleague
Communicating condolences to an acquaintance or colleague can sometimes seem awkward and uncomfortable. These simple phrases below will help you bridge that gap between feeling awkward and offering genuine words of sympathy to someone you may not know very well.
Here are words to comfort an acquaintance or colleague who lost a loved one over text:
- "I heard about your loss. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help."
- "I can’t imagine what it feels like to have lost a child. I am at a loss for words to say. Please know that I have you and your family in my prayers, and I’m here for you."
- "Please accept my condolences on the loss of your pet, Burrito. He was always a joy to have around the office and will be missed."
- "I heard about your dad’s passing. I’m so sorry about your loss. I lost my dad a few years back. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you."
- "Please accept my condolences on the loss of your spouse. I’m sure that this is a very difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you."
- "It is terrible to hear about your loss. I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family."
16. “I heard about your loss. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”
When you hardly know a person, it may sound insincere to offer your deepest sympathies or to say that you feel their pain.
It is appropriate to send an abbreviated message of sympathy with a genuine offer to help. You may offer to pick up the slack at work, help them deliver a project, or fill in for them at work.
17. “I can’t imagine what it feels like to have lost a child. I am at a loss for words to say. Please know that I have you and your family in my prayers, and I’m here for you.”
You don’t have to know someone very well to understand that losing a child can be one of the most devastating things a parent can go through.
Letting them know that you can’t express the level of loss they must be feeling is acceptable, and it is much better than ignoring the death.
18. “Please accept my condolences on the loss of your pet, Burrito. He was always a joy to have around the office and will be missed.”
When your colleague loses a beloved pet, they may be mourning the loss as if they have lost a child. It’s important to recognize this loss and acknowledge it with words of sympathy and condolences.
19. “I heard about your dad’s passing. I’m so sorry about your loss. I lost my dad a few years back. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”
Offering specific and relatable support to an acquaintance lets them know that you genuinely care about them, and have something of value to add to them during this time of pain and bereavement.
You may want to follow up with another message a few days later to let your colleague know that you were sincere in your offer of support.
20. “Please accept my condolences on the loss of your spouse. I’m sure that this is a very difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.”
This message validates the loss and the grief that your acquaintance must be experiencing without sounding too pushy or waiting for a response from him.
21. “It is terrible to hear about your loss. I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.”
Again, this message is short and clear to the point. This is especially appropriate when you don’t have a close relationship with your colleague.
Comforting Someone Who's Grieving Over Text
Knowing what to say to a person who is grieving is never easy. Finding the appropriate words to comfort them in their time of need can prove difficult especially when you don’t have much experience with death.
Using some of the suggested words above can help you avoid the silence that follows when you are at a loss for words in many of these situations.
FAQs
21 Comforting Texts You Can Send to a Grieving Loved One | Cake Blog? ›
Use comforting words
Reassure them that their feelings are valid and that it's normal to experience a range of emotions during the grieving process. A simple, "I'm sending you a warm hug" or "I'm thinking of you and sending love your way" can go a long way in offering comfort.
- Offer Simple "I'm thinking of you" Text Messages. ...
- Tell Them It's Okay Not to Respond To Texts. ...
- Don't Assume You Know What They're Going Through - Invite Them To Tell You How They Are Doing. ...
- Talk About The Person Who Passed - Share Photos & Memories.
- I am so sorry for your loss.
- I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
- I don't know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
- You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
- My favorite memory of your loved one is…
- Be a good listener. ...
- Respect the person's way of grieving. ...
- Accept mood swings. ...
- Avoid giving advice. ...
- Refrain from trying to explain the loss. ...
- Help out with practical tasks. ...
- Stay connected and available. ...
- Offer words that touch the heart.
Use comforting words
Reassure them that their feelings are valid and that it's normal to experience a range of emotions during the grieving process. A simple, "I'm sending you a warm hug" or "I'm thinking of you and sending love your way" can go a long way in offering comfort.
- Be Present. First things first, show up. ...
- Embrace—Don't Fix. Our discomfort with others' grief oftentimes creates the desire to make it better or make it go away. ...
- Accepting the New. ...
- Remember. ...
- Follow Through.
Your place is to console, not to judge. Acknowledge the person's loss and avoid saying things like “I'm glad it was you and not me.” Don't tell anyone what to do or to change his or her feelings. Don't ask anything of a bereaved person other then what you might be able to do to help.
How often should you check on someone who is grieving? ›Check in every now and then just to say hello (you may find it helpful to put reminders on your calendar). Most bereaved people find it difficult to reach out and need others to take the initiative.
What are some words of comfort? ›- “We are so sorry for your loss.”
- “I'm going to miss her, too.”
- “I hope you feel surrounded by much love.”
- “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Juan.”
- “Sharing in your sadness as you remember Dan.”
- “Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. ...
- “With deepest sympathy as you remember Robert.”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
What are the psychological effects of death of a loved one? ›
A person may have intense feelings of grief. This can feel overwhelming, making it seem hard or even impossible to think about anything else. For some people, these feelings or thoughts may be so difficult to deal with that they push them down or mask them, either all or some of the time.
How do you feel close to someone who has died? ›Talk or write to them
People have continued to talk to the people they love after they've died for time immemorial. Great comfort can be found in talking to your loved one in the usual way… whether that's updating them on what's happening in the family, the wider world or the garden.
Obsessive thoughts of death can come from anxiety as well as depression. They might include worrying that you or someone you love will die. These intrusive thoughts can start out as harmless passing thoughts, but we become fixated on them because they scare us.
How do you say I am thinking of you? ›- “You've been in my thoughts recently” ...
- “I miss you” ...
- “You're the strongest person I know” ...
- 'I'm here whenever you need me' ...
- 'I'm sorry for your loss' ...
- 'Let's meet up' ...
- 'We will get through this together' ...
- 'I want to remind you what an incredible person you are'